U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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