Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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