you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
