I puked a lego.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
