Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
