I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
