His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
