i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize