I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
