I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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