Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
