He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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