I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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