he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
