I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
