dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
