Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize