I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
