well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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