Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
