We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
