I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
