My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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