I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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