You're a womanizer and a bitch.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
