Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
