My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
