Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Randomize
