I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i drank out of a bidet.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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