so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
