just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
