Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize