Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
