'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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