you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
