I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
