Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize
