i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Randomize
