I think I died a long time ago.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
