I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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