Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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