A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
