I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Randomize
