Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I need moral support for this bender
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
