Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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