Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Randomize
