I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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