is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
