i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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