if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Randomize
