carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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