Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
