I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
