Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
