I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
