WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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