you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
