She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
NoShamevember. You game?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize