You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Randomize
