Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
