You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
i think im in europe. pls send help
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize