Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
