There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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