Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(

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(917): View more from New York City

still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins

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(432): View more from Texas

His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.

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(519): View more from Ontario

It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.

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(813): View more from Florida

Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg

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(701): View more from North Dakota

The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.

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