Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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