we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
