It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
