Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
