Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
