Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
